The past returns

So, I have this project I've been working on, and it's now crunch time. It's designed to be a Halloween costume / cute outfit for a certain little girl, and I only see her mom once a month, and I need to finish the dang thing like now because she'll be here this weekend. The big thing that has been holding me up, though, is that I've decided I need a flower on it. The pattern doesn't call for a flower, mind you. No, I'm the one who picked a flower to go on the hat, and I cannot convince myself to go forward without it.

Of course, as any knitter can tell you, it's not that you can't knit flowers -- you can -- but it's a lot of work and there's very little point when crochet does it so much better (knitting - straight lines, crochet = circles). You can do things in both crafts to offset these basic tendencies, but you're crafting uphill a bit in either case.

 So I decided, finally, to bite the bullet and pick up a crochet hook and start a flower. How hard could it be, anyway? Not that I've ever read a crochet pattern or done it since my grandmother taught me to make potholders when I was 9. I was nervous -- I haven't had any interest in or experience with crocheting since that time, and it's not like one remembers things like that. I've been puzzling through online instructions and explanations, and things were going okay... when suddenly I was crocheting. Like, single crochets without having to look at the diagram. In fact, I was convinced the diagram said I was wrong at one point and I was confused because the way I wanted to do it wasn't the way it said to... and then I realize it was, and the difference was that it was the way Grandmother had taught me.

All of a sudden, I was comfortable. It was like she was with me again, and worrying about the right way to do it or anything like that just faded away. I remember her hands on mine, and how her rose lotion smelled, and the way she'd guide me through things, and I suddenly feel like crocheting is a gift, because it let me feel close to her again after so long. Love you, Grandmother. Miss you.